| In an apparent effort to uphold Islamic purity Mahmoud | | | | into Persian culture, so he has now forbidden all |
| Ahmadinejad, the mercurial President of the Islamic | | | | newspapers, publishers, teachers, writers and |
| Republic of Iran, has now decreed a series of | | | | government agencies and private enterprises to make |
| implementations with the purpose of 'de-Westernize' | | | | use of words 'which do not descend directly from our |
| Iranian society, both in words as well as in deeds. | | | | culture'. Hence, he has mandated that all foreign words |
| The Italian daily Corriere Della Sera ( ) in fact reports | | | | be translated into Persian, from now on. The notable |
| that Ahmadinejad has ordered governmental agencies | | | | exception is Arabic, since the Qur'an is written in that |
| to fine all those individuals who do not conform to the | | | | language. |
| Islamic code as it relates to clothing and public | | | | The government body in charge of supervising and |
| appearance. This means that gentlemen are not | | | | implementing the translations is the Farhangestan |
| allowed to wear shorts or walk around bare-chested, | | | | Zaban wa adab Farsi, the Persian Academy and the |
| and that ladies must cover up entirely. Couples, | | | | official language watchdog. This organization has the |
| furthermore, are ordered to 'keep their distances'. | | | | duty to coin or adapt new words for the non-Persian |
| As much as Westerners will find these rulings | | | | ones. It consists of 25 Persian language experts and |
| ridiculous, the Islamic Dress Code is no laughing matter. | | | | professors who are the final decision-makers. There |
| It finds its roots in the distinction between Good and | | | | are several specialized sub-departments covering |
| Evil as pointed out in the Qur'an. Islamic | | | | such topics as Engineering, Medicine, Agriculture, |
| Fundamentalism teaches that human bodies developed | | | | Transportation, Military and Economics. |
| skin so thin and fur-free as to require external covering | | | | The Persian Academy has come up already with a |
| for protection as well as embellishment, because Allah | | | | few translations, which reflect also a more adherent |
| designed it this way so that humans will always need | | | | version to Islamic teachings. For example, pizza will be |
| clothing. At the same time, the Creator also put in | | | | called from now on 'extensible loaf', in line with the |
| humans the sense of shame. | | | | pivotal place that bread loaves have in the context of |
| And why did He do all that? Very simple. The first act | | | | the societies of Islam. Danish pastries instead will be |
| of Satan was to cause Adam and Eve to expose | | | | dubbed 'roses of Mohammad' Likewise chat will |
| themselves: "So by deceit he brought about their fall: | | | | become a 'short talk', and cabin will be renamed a |
| when they tasted of the tree, their shameful parts | | | | 'small room'. |
| became manifest to them, and they began to sew | | | | On the military and political side of things helicopters will |
| together the leaves of the Garden over their bodies." | | | | become 'rotating wings machines', whereas instead jet |
| [Al-A'raf 7:22]. This is the source of the tension we | | | | fighters will be 'fixed wings machines'. America will |
| see in human nature - the two opposing forces of | | | | continue to be 'The Great Satan', but Israel is from |
| Good and Evil. Furthermore, continues the Corriere | | | | now on 'The Baby Satan' - to be distinguished from |
| Della Sera, the Qur'an then warns that Satan was not | | | | Russia, 'The Small Satan'. |
| finished after his first attempt: "Oh Children of Adam! | | | | This is bound for sure to create some confusion in the |
| Let not Satan seduce you in the same manner as he | | | | Iranian military. In fact, what do you do if you see a |
| got your parents out of the Garden, stripping them of | | | | bunch of soldiers of the Great Satan coming at you in |
| the raiment of righteousness, to expose their shame." | | | | a rotating wings machine while eating extensible loaves |
| [Al-A'raf 7:27]. | | | | and short-talking to the pilot in the little room? Do you |
| But besides the dress code, Ahmadinejad had also | | | | sound the alarm or not? |
| something to say against the 'bastardization' of Farsi, | | | | Go ahead, pop up that aspirin - after reading all this |
| that is the proliferation of the use of foreign words. | | | | you deserve it. |
| The President sees any foreign word as an 'intrusion' | | | | |