The Cycle Of Life - Letter To A Mentor

1. We receive:convention centers. Even flushing the toilet meant that
We came into this world with nothing. We didn't evensomebody was on a trip to a different country called
ask to be born, yet we were granted the wonderfulCharla Puor. From those early days, however, I've
gift of life. And without asking for anything else, wemoved on to imagine better shoes, better jewelry,
continue to receive. We receive encouragement andbetter toys, better house appliances, different
comfort and kisses and hugs and nourishment andarchitectural structures, different banking methods,
attention and validation. But we also receive pain andbetter educational systems, different movie story lines,
discomfort and disappointment and envy and jealousydifferent marketing approaches, different retail stores,
and abuse and humiliation and embarrassment.better traveling luggage and I could go on and on.
Things come at us and to us from so many differentFor years I've found pleasure in creativity and
sources that it is sometimes hard at first to distinguishinnovation. I can see just about anything and imagine an
which ones are welcomed and which ones are not.improvement for it. Through the years, the ideas
But the fact remains, we start out in life at thebecame more structured. Not only would I imagine
receiving end.new stuff, I'd also try to find out what kind of
It's funny how becoming so engulfed in our consumer'stechnology or combination of technologies were
society, blinds us to the fact that to live life alwaysavailable to bring the new idea to life, as well as the
from the receiving end, would keep us continually in aright way to market it. There is nothing that gives me
powerless and vulnerable, even primitive position.greater satisfaction than to put a new idea together.
My relationship with you Oprah began whereThe only thing in my mind that could offer a greater
everything else does, at the receiving end. It was in theexperience would be to actually bring one of these
late eighties, I was still a teenager and you had a newideas to life. But I've come up with probably a couple
TV show that would soon make History. I couldn'thundred ideas only to see them one by one being
exactly place my finger on what I was receiving, but Icarried out by someone else. Surprising as it may
kept coming back for more. And through the years Iseem, this has not discourage me, but quite the
received so many gifts from you that now I wish I hadcontrary. To me it's a sign that I am on the right track.
written them all down the moment I was receivingThrough years of frustrating unrewarding jobs as well
them.as nice-not-so-frustrating-but still unrewarding jobs, I
Those gifts came mainly in the form of insights,finally believe my childhood circumstances and young
wisdom bits and different views of life. Some of themadult experiences have lead me to find a way to
came directly from you, others came from variouschannel my innovation and change my used space for
guests of yours but were highlighted and customizedthe better.
by you.4. We give:
Here are a few from the top of my head:o "PeopleAll that we receive, and assimilate and innovate
think you must have, in order to do, in order to be,prepares us to be able to give of ourselves. It is not
when it's the other way around. You need to be, inonly selfish but absurd to think that we came to this
order to do, in order to have." This came fromworld only to have a good time and erect huge
motivational speaker Iyanla Vazant.o "Hope is not amonuments to our greatness. After all, what makes us
plan" -quoting from Anderson Cooper's new bookogreat is our ability to help others become great. But
"Now that you've heard it, you can no longer pretendwho knows and lives by this principle better than you
that you didn't know." -Oprah's originalo "You onlyOprah?
accomplish what you believe. Not what you want, notI have been blessed to have wonderful parents that
even what you work for but only what you believe."motivated me and gave me their blessing at an early
-Oprah's original (my personal favorite)age. First my mom looked at me in the eye and told
I've cherished these gifts for years. Of course not onlyme that I would do something great someday. Second:
have you shared sayings but inspiration as well. I havewhen I was 3 or four years old, I had a strange dream.
found self-improvement stories and those of peopleI was playing with some other little friends in my
going from rags to riches, most inspirational whilegrandmother's backyard. My friends went on running
building my own foundation for success. Shows in thebut I stopped to notice a pale pinkish liquid with sods
likes of:o A millionaire a minute (1998) (myrunning through a PVC tube that was in one of the
all-time-favorite)o My passion, my fortune (1999)o Howwalls of the building. I stood there staring in amazement.
to empower little girls to succeed (one of my all-timeWhen I told my dad about the dream the following day,
favorites)o Quirky ways people have become richhe got all excited; he grabbed me and hugged me and
(2005)o Ways women just like you have made theirthen he said: "this is great Jull, that was champagne; it
wildest dreams come through (2005) Just to mention ameans success."
fewTo both my mom's pronouncing of greatness and to
You have been such an inspiration with your voice andmy dad's success anointing with champagne, I didn't
with your life, the way you keep giving of yourself, thereally know how to react or what exactly they meant
way you don't cease to amaze us. For all that I haveat the time. But through the years I have held myself
received from you and continue to receive, thank you.accountable and have always wanted to live up to
2. We assimilate:those expectations. My parents keep repeating that
Once we've been here on earth for a while, we startthey are already proud of me and that I'm already
to associate concepts and reach to conclusions. Wegreat. This is good to hear, but it's really just fuel to do
take all that we've received and put it together in oureven more.
own way. Whether our experiences have beenAfter countless trials and errors and trying to figure out
wonderful, good, so-so, not so good or down-rightwhat and how to do in order to give back to life, the
terrible, we assimilate it all and interpret it however weworld and the people who live in it, I decided to put all
choose to. At the end of the day, it will all contribute tomy great and even crazy-sounding-ideas in a book for
our successes or failures. But it will not be because ofyoung women to go ahead and bring them to life. The
what we received, but rather because of the way webook contains over 120 ideas in 15 different categories.
chose to assimilate it.I believe this would give me even more satisfaction
The earliest a-ha moment that I can recall was a fewthan pursuing each one of them myself. To walk down
years before the first Oprah Winfrey Show, so I didn'ta certain town and see a building that I helped inspire,
call it an a-ha moment back then. It took place duringread a book with a central topic that I threw out there,
the early eighties when I was still a girl living in mystep into a mall and see a store that I suggested. All of
native country -Panama. My parents are strongthis is really cool, but greater than this would be to
believers of Education being the great equalizer. Theyknow that someone's life was changed for the better
would constantly seek ways to motivate us and getbecause she found an outrageous idea and thought to
us excited about school. From very early on I receivedherself: "hey I could do that". The thought that I had
the not-so-subtle message from my parents that goingsomething to do with that brain-wave, like a pebble in a
to College really wasn't a decision for me to make, itpond that creates a ripple which goes on to make a
was a must. I only had the privilege of deciding whichgreat wave in the sea, gives me goose bumps.
one I'd rather attend.That is life worth living. And there's no doubt in my
It was a tradition of ours that almost every Saturdaymind that you helped inspire that bigger dream Oprah.
or Sunday night we'd ride around in the city to seePerhaps my plan began selfish and childish almost 16
elegant neighborhoods with beautiful houses whereyears ago, when I structured my first idea in a
rich people lived. And our parents would say thingscommercial format. But as you always say: "God can
such as: "that is why you must study, so that you candream a better dream for you than you could dream
get a good job and be able to afford this lifestyle." Ifor yourself "
tried to assimilate this information the best way I couldTo materialize one idea after another would be great
but somehow there was always something missing. Iand could have perhaps lead me to live the Fabulous
mean, my parents had what a lot of peoplelife I've always wanted, but most likely it wouldn't have
considered "good jobs", they both worked at whatgiven me the "what-a-feeling" effect I was really
used to be known as The Panama Canal Zone, withlooking for, or at leas not a lasting one. The book was
the Southern Command. And although we were notfirst written with the intention of inspiring students in
considered poor, we weren't living in those elegantColleges and Universities to become more creative,
neighborhoods in one of the beautiful houses either.but I realized most of the ideas would appeal more to
A Sunday night as we were coming back from ourwomen. I've just finished reading The BAP handbook.
ride a bit earlier than usual, my dad said to us: "lookThe official Guide to the Black American Princess. It's a
behind you" so all for of us -my two sisters, myfun reading book. And as much as I enjoyed it and the
brother and I- looked back. "you see those elegantsitcom Girlfriends that was most likely inspired by it, I
cars going towards the city?" I could see beautifulcannot help but think: what if we could inspire young
Mercedes, Jaguars, BMWs and such, all brand newgirls not only to be little princesses expecting to be
and polished, almost racing towards the city lights whilepampered, and look cute, but to actually create some
we were going in the opposite direction. My dadof the things and products they enjoy so much? What
continued: "They are just going out now, their night ofif we could inspire them to create more make up,
fun is just starting. While we need to get home to goshoes, design better Jaguars, write more books,
to bed for your mother and I to get up early for workproduce more movies, design new software or a new
tomorrow. But they don't have to get up early or evenbuilding? I can hardly wait to see who is going to
go to work tomorrow any at all" -why- I asked curious.create The Shoe Factory or produce the series Bad
"because they are the owners and bosses, the onesAttitude (some ideas suggested in the book).
who provide the jobs for others to go to." This hasIt saddens me to listen to little girls and watch them
been by far my biggest a-ha moment ever. It helpedtrying to imitate celebrities that believe all their value is
me assimilate important information in a verylocked into their looks and bodies. Why not inspire
convenient metaphor. For starters, I didn't want to havethem to use their brains? And not only to become a
a job; I wanted to provide them for others. I lookeddoctor, lawyer or scientist, which would be great, but
back at the elegant cars going towards the city lightsalso to create, create, create! Maybe I am being bias
for the last time. And for the first time, I knew exactlybecause it's just my thing, but I'd love to see more
in what direction I wanted to go.women creators and innovators. And between you
3. We innovate:and me, it would make me even happier to see a lot
Once we have assimilated the things we've beenmore women of color become creators (again being
receiving, they suffer slight or drastic changes beforebias).
we pass them on. We never leave the space we'veWe have the ability to do great things. And we can call
used the same way we found it regardless of whaton a great power that is more than willing to assist us
we do. Hopefully our goal is to change that space foronce we are ready to walk in our destiny. I know that
the better. We have the power to turn oureverything happens for a reason and nothing takes
experiences into something uniquely beautiful to beplace a minute before it should. Now I am sure that if
spread amongst others, leaving behind a sweet andGod had given me what I asked for when I asked for
fresh aroma as we go through life. Or we could turnit, He would have been unable to give me what I really
our life experience into something selfish that will leavewanted.
behind an ugly and putrid stench of stagnant water.I didn't know of a book that was especially dedicated
However we want to do it, the lives we have lived willto boost young women's creativity, but I had written a
result into a new and unique product; something onlybook, and all I needed to do was redesign the cover
one particular individual could have produced.that it could appear more feminine, the rest was
Something will be different just because you werealready done. I hope you are proud of me.
born. But then something else will be different becauseSo there you have it, I have received and assimilated
of the innovation that resulted from the assimilatedand innovated and now I am ready to give back. I am
information you received. The world is differentready to get out of the vulnerable position and place
because of you; it will be different because of me. Wemyself in the empowering seat. Oprah thank you for
were all born to make a difference.letting God use you, thank you for giving of yourself,
As a child I've always had a very vivid imagination. Ithanks for making us see you vulnerable because that
loved to imagine that the floors in my house wereway we knew that we too could do great things once
streets and avenues. That shoes were cars,we overcame. Thanks for all that you have given and
chandeliers and lamps were restaurants andcontinue to give. I am forever grateful. Thank you.