What is Your Family Code of Conduct? Don't Get Caught in Your Own Trap!

Life is full of the traps we set for ourselvescan give to myself everyday. In this process, I am
My Grand Daughter sets traps for me! These colorfulPeaceful, loving, interested, aware, emotional, feminine,
cards, puzzle pieces, coasters, toys, and shapes withflexible, teachable always smiling from the inside.
pictures of the basic meanings and definitions of lifeTraps set on the floor could annoy me as too many
are laid out like bread crumbs all through the housechildren's things creating clutter and messiness or
leading in out of the kitchen and living areas or up theremind me of my values.
stairs leading to my room. winter-to-spring-11Family values are the most important part of my
Due the type of family values that have been instilled inrelationship with my family members because it is part
me, my first instinct of course is to pick these items upof our family code of conduct.
and admonish her for leaving her things all over theEvery family has its own code of conduct and way of
floor. I resist giving in to my instincts to clean andbeing together. What works for one family may or
organize every minute of my life because to me thatmay not work for another.
represents control of my environment. I choose toA few examples in my family
create a new connection with her every chance I get!1. We hug and kiss hello and good bye almost every
Giving in to my compulsory obsession with cleanlinesstime we see each other, sounds extreme to you, it's
and order is less important than the opportunity tonormal for us.
reinforce family values of acknowledgment of the2. We never take anything from each other without
teaching moment she offers me.permission, never assume that it's okay, they won't
It means something to her for me to acknowledge hermind. Some families have issues around this respect of
creativity. When I allow myself to get caught in the trapboundaries.
its means success for her that the trap has worked.3. We actually eat together at the table with no
So to say "hey, what are these cards and puzzletelevision just music and cook meals together. Most
pieces and toys doing all over the floor?"families today eat in front of the television and they
This statement gives this five year old such a sensedon't cook together, the responsibility falls on mom
of satisfaction that I noticed her and something she didmost of the time in most families.
to get my attention because I am usually so busy4. We don't talk negatively about people we are
doing something important. To get any reaction to herconnected to. We admonish each other about being
traps makes her chuckle and smile to herself like it's acritical or negative.
private joke that only she understands.5. We do not fight we talk until there is a solution. My
We are creating memories and teachable momentschildren were not permitted to hit and hurt each other
between us! We are reinforcing our family values.when they were young, disagreements were resolved
I love it! It keeps me grounded in reality and my familythrough problem solving.
values so I cannot get too caught up in the day to daySounds simple, yet it has its own complexity in the
tendency to take life too seriously. To be open andprocess.
aware of every moment in its unique unfolding gift is aHaving a sense of simplicity today is important due to
thrilling expectation of something new to behold inthe amount of stress and anxiety everyone is feeling
amazement of just being alive.about the economy.
Traps! Life is of course full of traps, the ones we setIf you are watching too much news or listening to too
unwittingly for ourselves when we set aside our familymany messages about how bad things are then you
values to achieve our goals and survive in the midst ofare setting yourself up for a trip to the land of cynicism
what we are constantly being told is a bad timeand uncertainty.
financially for everyone.That is not a nice place to visit because once you get
It is true that there is financial struggle and it could bethere it is difficult to find your way out, which leads to
that the Universe is telling us that this is time to smelldepression.winter-to-spring-27. We as mothers must
the roses and reset the focus of what we value therefrain from being too obsessed with controlling every
most in life. I want my grand daughter to have greataspect of every person and every part and parcel of
memories of her time with me, not how hard it was.our lives. This takes away from actually living and
Be patient with the process of your life, we tend to bebeing present in our lives for the simplicity of seeing
in a hurry to get to the end of the day before wehow happy it makes a five year old to set a trap and
really let the day begin. I resist knowing the outcome allsee Gram actually caught in it.
the time because that is fear based behavior. Fear ofIt does not hurt to play along and be focused on the
the outcome! Worrying is not operating in Faith.joy of the moment instead of correcting it and aligning
I trust my Faith in God, The Higher Power, the Mostit with what works in you life to make feel safe and in
High, Allah, Jehovah, Krishna, Buddha, The Force, Thecontrol.
Source the Breath of Life!If you get what I am saying, then share your family
To operate in faith and be conscious of thevalues. What works for you? How do you appreciate
sweetness and simplicity of my life is the best gift Iyour living and be healthy while you are doing it?